﻿I don't get it... Is social media merely a currated crowd we nod to like commuters on a train we see daily but never talk to?

I don't get it... Is social media merely a currated crowd we nod to like commuters on a train we see daily but never talk to?

9/3/2017

In the Tom Hanks' movie Big, there is a scene where Tom Hanks' character is sitting in a boardroom of executives who are presenting toys the company was considering buying/marketing. Hanks is actually a young teenage boy who got his wish to be 'big' and, while outwardly he was an adult, he remained a child inside. The toy being presented made no sense to him and he raised his hand when 'any questions' was asked. His question? "I don't get it." The result? The other executives realised that the toy being presented was vacuous and lacked any fun element. Naturally, this set up the antagonism between him and the executive and the romantic interest. But I don't want to go down that particular rabbit hole.

I haven't posted any vlogs in the last couple of months for a simple reason: I don't get it. Yes, I understand the importance of a presence across various media platforms. Yes, I understand the arguments we, as authors, are told. But, I just don't get it.

I am not having fun.

This extends to Twitter and Facebook. I have now joined Instagram. I joined because I'm expected to be there. I added the stream to my Hootsuite program and I assume my missives are sent into the ether to be ignored along with the rest of the noise out there.

I wonder whether this is my fault--for not sharing more personal thoughts or emotions. Perhaps if I open up, the world will open up to me. I share my thoughts and receive the same thing: indifference or polite 'likes' as people maintain contact. It is not that different to the almost imperceptible nod or smile that we share with commuters we never speak to yet see on a daily or weekly basis.

As I write this, I am thinking that perhaps that's all these social platforms have become: curated commuter trains. With that image in mind, I begin to 'get it'. But I'm still not having fun.

In terms of my vlogs, I think about the hundreds of millions of dollars Hollywood executives spend in making movies--just to garner our attention for an hour and a half (or so). Perhaps I need to 'up my game' and make an effort to put on a more slick presentation. Then I think about people like Amal Clooney. Yes, she is the wife of George, but she is also an amazing human rights barrister. When you google her, what comes up? What she wore, how she looks, and where she's going (glitzy parties or beach appearances). Amongst this noise is the work she does highlighting genocide amongst the Kurds (and Yazidis). She also represents Julian Assange, founder of Wikileaks. Pretty cool stuff. She says that a lot of good work happens behind the scenes away from the cameras and media. But, that being said, she also acknowledges that her being married to GC provides her with a platform to spread her message.

That, I get.

2 Comments

Courtney

10/3/2017 03:24:24 am

It might be rare, but there are occasions that I have had meaningful interactions with a fellow commuter or another person when it might have been acceptable to just share the regular smile and/or nod. What is it that sparks one person to initiate that interaction and what makes it meaningful? Sometimes it might mean allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share things about yourself. It often also involves showing genuine interest in the other person through questions and support as appropriate. Maybe the same ideas could apply with social media interactions.

Baron Deschauer link

10/3/2017 08:58:41 am

Courtney,
This is the essence of our humanity--what makes us tick? Before we even get to the stage of become best friends or worst of enemies, we need to make contact. The commuter train is full of both familiar and new faces. For me, I tend to interact with anyone next to me based on how I feel on the day. Is my blood sugar in its happy spot? Have I just done a great deal and need to blabber on? Am I so excited I can't read a book? Is the plane's turbulence so bad I need to distract myself (and feign any lack of fear/concern)? That being said, the more I commute, the less I become the spark. I retreat into my shell where I am more comfortable (being an introvert). I avoid eye-contact. I don't want to know about whatever it is my fellow passengers are going to say.

Our behaviour tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You become 'the character' of your behaviour for that particular crowd. In this way, you can be the life of the party in one crowd, and a wallflower in the next. It takes a conscious effort to be true to yourself (and be honest enough to allow yourself the natural ups and downs of normal human cycles).

In terms of making an interaction meaningful, I wonder whether anyone really cares about all the gushy emotions we are going through internally. They may be sympathetic (and probably nosey) but it's a downer to meet people who dump their problems on us. I want to inspire and be inspired. I am also happy to help others who need a shoulder or someone to talk to. Perhaps along the lines of the 80:20 rule--80% time to talk about inspiring things (in my perspective) and 20% time to talk about non-inspiring stuff.

That sounds very selfish as I write this down... I'm not sure I'm that cynical.

It comes down to what you find meaningful. In England, the definition of being impolite is telling a person how you actually feel when they ask 'how are you doing?'. No one really wants to know. They are being polite. However, if you meet the boy/girl of your dreams, you want them to tell you how they are actually doing. You want to know the good, bad, and the ugly. You want any reason to keep talking, laughing, and possibly crying. If you already have a partner, you may want to talk about what you 'do' such as science, or sport, or teaching. In many ways, I can sympathise with the Sheldon character from the Big Bang Theory--he is able to say the things most people wouldn't dare.

I appreciate I am now fully rambling--like the unwanted guest seated next to you on a commuter route. If you are still reading this, thanks.

That being said, I am trying to square the usefulness of social media and being honest with myself. I avoided these places up until now because I felt it was a way for our lives to be monitored (not in a good way) and manipulated. It makes us vulnerable by just being in these places. But that may speak more to my own unwillingness to let go.

I was told (by more than a few people) that my postings are too impersonal and boring. I should be more like my brother Lucky who posts cool pictures of his life and his adventures. Your message makes me think--while I am spending a lot of time generating posts and online presence, I am not letting people past my personal defences. I am only letting people see my online persona: Baron as author, not Baron as person.

I will contemplate on this. Thanks for your message!